Forgiving God

Why It's Necessary to Voice Your Frustrations

It is likely that you read the title of this article in a way that describes forgiveness as an attribute of God. While it is true that God is forgiving, I intended a different meaning; namely, it is necessary for us to forgive God.

We typically don’t think of God as someone we would need to forgive. After all, he is God. That means he is perfect in all his ways; he is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. He doesn’t only have those qualities, he is them. Knowing this to be true, why would we ever need to forgive him?

The answer to that question depends on ones understanding of what it means to forgive someone. We forgive others when we perceive that we have been mistreated; the intentions of the other person notwithstanding. For example:

• A parent throws away a dingy pair of socks and replaces them with new ones only to discover that those dingy sock were “lucky.”

• A friend forgets to say Happy Birthday to another because they were so busy at work.

• Parents decline to pay for a trip their child wants to go on because they don’t think it’s a good idea.

In these examples the offense may not have been a deliberate attempt to mistreat the other, it may actually come from a place of benevolence, but this doesn’t change the fact that someone was offended. And where there is offense there must be forgiveness. This is also true in our relationship with God.

God, being the personification of wisdom, knowledge, and goodness, often acts or refuses to act in ways that can be downright frustrating to us. And although we know it is for our good, we must acknowledge that sometimes the experience of God’s actions, or inactions, can be downright painful to us. See Psalm 44, for example.

When we feel like this the worst thing we can do is swallow it because "we know" God is sovereign. Knowing that the Bible describes God as sovereign, and living as if one believes that God is sovereign are two different things. The former can be gained by reading a book, the latter can only be gained through experience. Therefore, my suggestion is that you lean into the experience and tell God how upset you are with him; then let him know that you forgive him.

The benefit of doing this is that you continue the conversation with God. By just swallowing your feelings with the medicine of “God is good and he never does wrong,” you never grow in your understanding of how he is good in every action or inaction. You may even begin to resent him. But when you tell him why you’re upset you position yourself to hear from him. This is what happened in the book of Job.

Job was a righteous man that experienced tremendous suffering that God allowed to take place. Throughout the book he defends himself against the charges that he must have done something wrong, and he demands an audience with God. Well... God showed up and responded to Job from within a whirlwind.

“Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?”

— Job 38:2 ESV

OUCH!

This is pretty much God’s way of letting Job know that he is speaking with a complete lack of understanding. But never mind that, don’t miss out on the good news; God is speaking to Job!

Although Job was revealed to be ignorant and God was once again revealed as righteous, Job is the better for it. He didn’t swallow his suffering with an empty understanding and acceptance of God’s sovereignty, but he voiced his frustrations until he heard from God.

Yes, it was a humbling experience, but any interaction with God is sure to be humbling. However, look at the transformation Job experienced because of this interaction.

Then Job answered the Lord and said: “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.’ I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”

— Job‬ ‭42:1-6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Job has grown in his knowledge of God. He has discovered that what is most important is not what God does, but what God is. And this came, not by being silent, but by confessing his frustrations about God. We should be wise and do the same thing; shouldn’t we?

Take some time and think about your life with God. When did he disappoint you? When did he frustrate you? When did you feel abandoned by him, or annoyed with him? When were you expecting to benefit from his promises only to feel like you've been left in the lurch?

Have you told him about these things? If not, take some time and do so today. Tell God why you were upset, tell him your expectations, be angry if that's how you feel. You can even be accusatory if you must. Don’t worry, he can handle it. After this, give him an opportunity to speak.

When he speaks you will be humbled, but your life with God will be better for having done so.